forever is over...

i used to be love drunk, but now im hungover. ill love you forever, forever is over.

GET THAT??!!!

*sigh*

lost and broken...

hopeless and lonely...

smiling on the outside...

but hurt beneath my skin...

my eyes are fading...

my soul is bleeding...

ive tried to make it seem OK...

but my faith is wearing thin...

so help me heal these wounds...

they've been open for way too long...

help me fill this hole...

even though this is not your fault...

that im open...

and im bleeding...

all over your brand new rug...

and i need someone to help me sew them up...

i only wanted a magazine...

i only wanted a movie screen...

i only wanted the life i've read about and dream...

and now my mind is an open book...

and now my heart is an open book...

and now my life is an open soul for all to see...

so help me heal these wounds...

they've been open for way too long...

help me fill this hole...

even though this is not your fault...

that im open...

and im bleeding...

all over your brand new rug...

and i need someone to help me...

so you come along...

i pushed you away...

then kicked and screamed for you to stay...

cuz i need someone to help me...

oh i need someone to help me...

to help me heal these wounds...

they've been open for way too long...

help me fill this hole...

even though this is not your fault...

that im open...

and im bleeding...

all over your brand new rug...

and i need someone to help me sew them,

i need someone to help me fill them,

i need someone to help me close them up...

Raya Sakan!!!

How was my Hari Raya in Melaka??

AWESOME!!!

had so much fun with the people i love..

my family..

sangat lama kita tak gather camni kan??

BEST DJ

Lya-DJ Enel

MY DJ

RAYA @ A'FAMOSA

B.C.-E.L.A-F.L.M.-Somban Boys-Uncle Lee

MY FAMILY

SISTERHOOD FOR LIFE!!

L-R: LULU-AYIE-IKA-LYA

LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!

I LOVE SOMBAN BOYS!!!

L-R : IJAT-LAN-ALIP-AYED

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!

looking forward to our next gathering...

p/s: dude, i know you have issues with me. guess what, i dont give a damn. go fuck yourself cuz i aint gona give a shit bout you anymore. i live my life, you live yours. dont mess up with me. dont put your filthy tiny hands into my business. dont even think of having anything with me. cuz you mean nothing to me now.

Maizatul Jasmeen @ Kak Meen

To My Dearest Beloved Kak Meen,

Honestly, i miss you. alot. loads of shits happened between us. we got through so many of them and now, more shits are coming our way. i am sick and tired of it. i messed up. you messed up. we both screwed things up as i see it. but im gona make the first move to apologize for everything and since its raya, forgive me for everything i've said and done that might have hurt you or caused you pain. i love you as a sister. as far as i am concerned, you are never my friend or housemate. you are my elder sister. i know i screwed up here and there, but you know me right? like what you said, knowing me and my bullshits kan? just to let you know, i might have lied about a few things, but i never meant to hurt you. and i never lied when i said i love you. i miss haveing those nights where we'll talk about everything. i miss laughing our ass off on something stupid. i miss the way you're always able to finish off my sentences. i miss it when you can read my mind. most of all, i miss you. i know things will never be the same again between us. i even understand if we wont even be talking to each other. but i want you to remember that if you ever need anything, i am always here for you no matter what. you're always gona be my kak meen and you will always have that special place in my heart and life. thank you for tolerating me and all my bullshits after so long. thank you for keeping up with my attitude. thank you for being such a wonderful listener. thank you for always giving me a shoulder to cry on. thank you for being a great sister. thank you for always backing me up and having my back when everyone was bringing me down. thank you for being you. im sorry for always giving you headaches. sorry for always making you worried. sorry for always leaving the room in a mess. sorry for lying to you. sorry for making you feel bad. sorry for not being at home most of the time. sorry for being such a crappy adik.

On this glorious occasion, i hope you are feeling good and happy with your loved ones. i wish you all the good things in life and may you be at the top of your health all the time. Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin.. Halalkan segala makan, minum, duit and anything that you have given me. Thank you for everything kak meen.

p/s: I LOVE YOU

*sigh*

its been along time since i wrote something in here. so many thigs have changed. too many. well, im single now. life is great. i miss feeling free like this. i do miss him sometimes. but, what the hell, he left me. not the other round. he made up his mind and im just living my life. =)

so many new relationships developed. some got better and some got worse. i dont give a damn. my life anyway. my relationship with man grew stronger. he understands what im going through. such a great friend / brother. love him. me and naqie? no more. the brotherhood..well, lets just say im a sister now. =)

i grew closer to ayie. love her. im losing so much weight due to too much party.. hahaha.. still looking good. no worries. assignments are going great.. long story short, im loving my life now..

i wont be updating much cuz im busy with other things. anyway, raya is coming up. cant wait. (yea right)

ciao!

i deserve better

someone told me that he misses the old me. well, that someone also once said that people change all the time. guess what. i was the same girl while you were changing into some guy that destroyed everything i ever worked for. thank you. you made me into who i am today. if you say i am ice-cold now, its because of you. i gave you my heart, you chose to break it. i gave you my life, you wasted it. i gave you my trust, you betrayed it. i gave you my love and attention, you took it for-granted. this is what you get for all that you give. im not saying that i dont love you anymore. its just that sometimes i feel sick of giving and just watching you taking everything. sucking to the last drop of whatever i have to give. you never really show your appreciation. that is a huge mistake. i've been telling you for so long that your time is running out but you wouldn't listen. now you are doing this. im not gona be the girl who cries and call you a thousand times just to make everything OK again. i just wont. im tired. i deserve something better than this. if yo're not planning on giving more, than you can go. i wont stop you. you're call. just so you know, im not wasting even a single drop of tear for you anymore. for what you're giving me, its not worth it. think about it.

so, i wont be going to perhentian with them. its gona be waste of money. spending so much for only 1 day at the beach. why im not going? i cant go with them cuz they're going on the 5th. i have my interview at Blu Inc Media on the 6th. that is waaayyy more important than perhentian. seriously. they're having they're sem break so its ok for them. im in the middle of my semester and this sem, its critical. cant afford to screw up. i need to get my grades back up. oh, Hakim scored a 4.0 GPA for his previous semester. awesome right?? he is smart. if something goes wrong, that means he's just lazy. haha. anyway, chilling was superb!!! before that i was at a PP in a'famosa organized by the BC's..hehe.. i didnt sleep and at 6am, i drove to ss2 to meet up with the boys and go mandi sungai!! woot~!! i love it. i love those kinds of things. hehe. tu la hadi and putai said im a dude..hahaha pictures will be in my facebook. go check 'em out yea? the weekend was fun and super tiring. oh well, worth it. im going back to PJ on thursday morning for my interview with Blu Inc Media and then lepak with the boys.. woot~ woot~

damn you

my whole happy weekend just gone crashing. thanx!