moving

i have a stalker.

he makes me sick.

driving me crazy.

that is why i am moving my blog. AGAIN.

=)

Carpe Diem...

as the title of this post says, 'Carpe Diem'.. seize the day.. thats one of my favorite quotes.. well, thats something that i hold on to each day..

people walk in and out of my life. im glad i have a few that stays with me. some people leave and makes me happy. but there are a few, well 2 to be exact that left me and makes me feel like there's no tomorrow. thus the motto Carpe Diem..

Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero... seize the day as if there is no tomorrow. how do i do that? i met him. and it was definitely no tomorrow for us. i knew he was leaving. he knew i cant go with him. (he did asked me to go with him though..not possible..) so, we did seize the day. unfortunately, it was the only day we have. a small part of me says that we will see each other again. i have a good feeling on this one.

anyway, if it is another heartbreak, ill suck it in. many more to come right? as what my great lecturer Miss Wan said, all the frogs will lead me to my prince.. =)

im one broken girl. ive been that way for so long that im used to it in a way. i have my beautiful family and friends to help me get up again. no worries. plus, i want to make sure that im OK so that putai and kak meen will be proud of me. they helped me grew up. thats why i love them so much. yup, i said that. i love putai. my first true love. can never forget him. he's great. he helped me move on. how cool is that? im glad that we're still talking to each other. =)

so, here i am. alone in my room. hoping that we would call. well, no harm in keeping hope alive right?

oh! i heard that he is trying to sign off earlier so me and my friends can be with him on new year's eve. yay!!

ciao! =)

in the car - on the go..

I am currently in the car with pak toto (my driver who is super cool and good looking ;) hehe) and we are heading to tangkuban perahu which is a volcano crater. Its an active volcano yea people. Take note.. After that we will be heading to some hotspring and lepak there for a bit.. Dah settle kumpul energy, we will go to ALL the factory outlets available.. Hahaha can't wait for that..
Anyhow, this blackberry thing, its cool.. But I still prefer Maxx.. Well, Maxx is my green Dell Inspiron 1420 which I've upgraded so many things and its like a laptop with superpowers..
Maxx undertands me.. Not lile this BB who makes me feel and look like a spoilt rich kid pampered by parents.. Haha
The view is amazing!! Got to go..
Ciao!!

i was in denial..now i admit that i miss you..

if i told you i still love you, what would you say?

if i told you i miss you, what would you do?

if i said want to see you, will you see me?

if i said i want you back, what will you do?

if i ask you for another chance, will you give it to me?

honestly, i cant live without you...

i can barely survive without you...

i cant even move forward without you...

im stuck in the past.. our past...

i miss how you hold my hands when we walk..

i miss how you play with my hair when im sleeping..

i miss how you kiss my head when im standing in front of you..

i miss how you wipe my fork and spoon when my food arrives..

i miss how you lite up my cigarette for me..

i miss driving around with you sitting next to me..

i miss watching movies with you..

i miss your smell..

i miss your touch..

i miss your smile..

i miss your laugh..

i miss how you would ask me to call every night before bed..

i miss listening to your voice every morning..

i miss driving over to your place on weekends..

i miss buying you clothes..

i miss watching you play foosball..

i miss fighting and arguing with you on the phone..

i miss eating with you..

i just miss you..

every step i take..

every move i make..

everywhere i go..

everything i do..

all i can see is you..

im so full of stories now..

all bottled up inside..

cuz you're not around for me to open up to..

its getting overloaded..

too much for me to bear it all..

im gona burst one day..

it ain't gona be good..

i hope you understand..

i hope you wont talk shit about me after you read this..

i know you do..

well, i hope you do..

i miss you..every day every night..

i think of you, all the time..

i dream of you every night..

i hope of waking up beside you every morning..

will you tell me that you would give me one last chance?

will you tell me that you still love me?

will you tell me that you need me?

will you cry if i die?

will you feel sad if im gone?

will you break apart if something happens to me?

will you promise me that you'll always be safe?

will you stay with me forever like you've promised me before?

i hope you still remember that i've once said that i would do anything to make you happy..

im killing myself slowly to make you happy..

im watching you from far away, making your way to another girl...

it hurts.. its killing me..

but its making you happy right??

not being with you is enough to kill me..

im dying slowly..started on the day you left..

i wont be gone completely until i am certain that you are safe and nothing can hurt you..

i love you more than life itself..

remember our songs??

~hands down

~guardian angel

~with you

the 3 most special song in my life.. it tears me apart everytime i listen to them now..

"my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery.. which ever you prefer"

"you're my true love, my whole heart..please dont throw that away.."

"if you ever let me go i would die..so i wont run.."

i miss you...

wuddafuck!!

You said i was the one. you promised never to leave. you told me you'll always be there with me. you said you love me. i trusted you. i loved you and i sill do. i cared about you and i still do. i sacrificed so much for you. i gave my life for you. you played me. you lied to me. you hurt me. you're killing me. thats life right? unfair. thats just you. and i am just stupid cuz i still love you.

you never loved me

baby its true

i cant believe i fell for you

you treated me bad

oh, i was so blind

cuz a girl like me

you'll never find

i gotta find a way to erase

the memories of us

wipe that look on your face

i loved you from the bottom of my soul

now its time for me to let you go

BIG MISTAKE!

i wish i never met you boy

i hope you break

and you'll realize the mess you've made

a big mistake

cant believe i said i love you

you're so fake.

thats so much that i cant take...

Siti Liya Nashita + Muhammad Hazwan

17052008 - 20072009

rock bottom

i have been feeling down lately. i wonder why. is it because im alone? im surrounded by my crazy friends almost all the time. yet, i feel so lonely. i miss being special to someone. i miss being that girl who lights up someone's life everyday. i miss being treated as a princess and pampered as a baby. i miss doing nothing and everything was taken care of by someone else. now its different. im all by myself. i have to everything on my own. i need to make myself feel better when im down. i need to pick myself up when i hit rock bottom. when i look around, everyone around me has that special someone to make them smile. me? i only have beautiful memories which are painful to even think about. i admit, he was the only one who understands me. but we fell apart. maybe its not meant to be. maybe its for the better.

anyway, i have to thank a few people who makes me happy.

ayie-enel-skaki-laji-dan-lulu..you guys are the best.. you never let me down.. i love you guys so so much..

a'bie comel.. syg.. i love you..

kak meen.. i know i have not been around lately, but you're always on top of everyone else.. you will never be replaced.. i love you..

aya, naza.. though we dont talk much, i know both of you are always here with me.. i know how much you care.. thank you for being the best..

ana, ilah, najib.. i dont have you anything.. you know i love you..

____________________________

damn! something just hit me..

my lovely beloved seniors are graduating..

kak meen will no longer be with me next sem..

sape nk bebel kt i?

sape nk mintak i buat milo?

sape nk kemas katil i?

sape nk remind i mcm2?

sape nk tlg kejut i?

sape nk jd kakak i??? ='(

miki, fili pon da xde next sem..

i wont have anyone to look up to anymore..

damn im crying..

"all alone again.. thats your life liya. live with it. you've been alone for so long before you met these beautiful people.. back to your old life.. you'll make it.. no worries.. you're a fighter.. always have been and always will be.."

I just want to be with you...

as the rains continue to batter,
standing on the balcony
i watch the rain drops
converge into one pool of water;

i wish you were here
standing next to me
in this rain soaked night,
holding hands, scheming of things pretty;

Wondering to myself, so late at night,
what is it that attracts me to you?
Thinking to myself, why are you always on my mind?
What power do you have in what you do?

thinking about where i stood,
i try to push you out of my mind,
but every time i push you out of my thoughts,
you crawl back into my world and fill my senses;

it’s so hard to keep smiling
and continue denying what i feel
i don’t know why,
a thousand reasons i have none;

i can’t go on like this,
i can’t pretend everything is fine,
when i just wanna be with you
hold you tight tonight and every night;

you're so fake...

you never loved me... baby its true...
and i cant believe i fell for you...
you treat me bad before, and i was blind...
cuz a girl who's like me you'll never find...
i loved you from the bottom of my soul...
and now its time for me to let you go...

BIG MISTAKE...
i wish i never met you boy, i hope you break...
and you'll realize the mess you've made..
a big mistake...
cant believe i said I LOVE YOU...
YOU'RE SO FAKE...

p/s: i hate being alone..but i like it that im not with you anymore cuz it turns out that you're a FAKE...

p/s/s: sayang A'bie sgt2~!!!